FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2025

Beyond Etiquette: How Gratitude Shapes Character and Defeats Self-Centeredness

By Rev. Olusola and Rev. Oyenike Areogun

MESSAGE: WHAT YOUR THANKSGIVING REVEALS

Thanksgiving is often relegated to a fleeting moment of social courtesy—a quick, half-hearted “thank you” muttered in passing. Yet, in the spiritual economy, thanksgiving is not merely etiquette; it is righteousness at work in relationships—both with God and with man. Your thanksgiving is a spiritual seismograph, revealing the deepest dimensions of your heart and the quality of your walk with the Lord. It is a defining trait of maturity.

The absence or presence of gratitude is the surest indicator of a thriving or struggling soul. We see the Apostle Paul’s heart laid bare in Philippians 1:3: “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” Paul’s thanksgiving was born out of memory and reflection. It was not impulsive; it was intentional. This reflection shows us that Spirit-led thinking generates Spirit-led thanking.

This message explores what your thanksgiving reveals about your character, your focus, and your ultimate spiritual trajectory.

1. Thanksgiving Reveals What You Are Becoming

The quality of your gratitude is directly tied to your level of spiritual maturity. If you do not think, you will not thank.

The Substance of Reflection

Thanksgiving is built upon the foundation of memory and reflection. It requires us to pause, look back, and analyze the journey. A person who is constantly rushing and never reflecting will be a thankless person. Why? Because they never stay long enough to discern grace clearly.

The Psalmist, and King David, modeled this deep reflection. After God pronounced a mighty covenant over his lineage, David “sat down before the Lord and enumerated God’s mercies one by one” (1 Chronicles 17:16-27). He didn’t just offer a generalized thank you; he recounted the details: Who am I, O LORD God? And what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?

Shallow minds do not thank because they operate only on the surface. They see provision but fail to see the Provider.

Rich minds develop richness by recognizing the specifics of grace. When you look back on what you have done, and who you did it with, thanksgiving becomes substance and reality.

We want to see you develop that kind of richness. Your thankfulness is not just a reaction to a recent blessing; it indicates what you are becoming—a person of depth, awareness, and spiritual substance.

2. Thanksgiving Reveals Your Center of Focus

A thankful heart is a decentered heart; a thankless heart is a self-centered heart.

The Battle Against Self-Centeredness

Thanksgiving indicates that you are not self-centred. This is a critical spiritual discipline.

A self-centered man puts himself into the centre of every narrative. Every success is due to my effort, my smartness, my planning. He receives a blessing and immediately sees it as his due, a confirmation of his superiority, rather than a gift of grace. This mindset stifles gratitude because the self takes the credit.

A thankful man focuses on others by giving. Gratitude decentres the self and re-centres God and the people He used. When you thank God, you acknowledge His sovereignty. When you thank people, you honor their role as divine instruments.

The inability to thank is a sign that the individual believes he or she is the source of the blessing, not merely the recipient. This self-exaltation is a form of spiritual blindness that cuts off the flow of continued grace.

Ingratitude as Robbery

Furthermore, not thanking is robbery. This is a powerful spiritual truth that moves ingratitude out of the realm of poor manners and into the realm of sin.

If you receive an act of grace and do not express gratitude, you have stolen something even more precious than money—the dignity properly belonging to the giver. When a person gives you their time, effort, or resources, their rightful due is the dignified acknowledgment of their kindness. By withholding gratitude, you effectively devalue their action and commit spiritual theft.

Thanksgiving is righteousness at work in relationships—it restores dignity, validates sacrifice, and keeps the channel of blessing open.

3. The Last-Days Attack on Gratitude

The devil is strategic, and one of his last-days attacks is to eliminate “thank you” from our dictionary. He understands that a numb, ungrateful spirit is easily hardened and susceptible to his deception.

The Hardness of Soul: When you get through a lengthy period without thanking anybody, your soul becomes numb. This numbness manifests as a coldness toward God, a lack of appreciation for life, and a constant dissatisfaction. The conscience, which acts as the inner alarm system, becomes hard toward God and man.

The Need to Resist Hardness: Resist that hardness. It’s a deliberate spiritual battle. The busyness of life, the emphasis on immediate gain, and the lack of proper training have led to a generation where few children learn to speak “thank you” and few adults have the time to mean it.

Practice Seeing the Goodness

To combat this spiritual anesthesia, we must actively cultivate a grateful heart.

See the “Little” Things: Practice seeing the goodness of God in “little” things—a safe trip, a good phone call, a door that closed for your protection. These small mercies are not automatic; they are evidence of God’s active intervention and faithfulness in the mundane details of your life.

Track Answered Prayer: Keep track of answers to prayer. We often pray with intensity but fail to record and reflect upon the intervention. When you write down the request and then write down the answer, you build an altar of remembrance that generates perpetual thanksgiving.

Give Immediate Thanks: Be quick to express gratitude to others, especially those who prayed your hands up—the intercessors, pastors, and friends who stood in the gap for you. Honor their spiritual labor.

Conclusion

Thanksgiving is not the end result of a spiritual life; it is a maintenance habit that keeps the soul healthy, soft, and aligned with God’s will. The more you make time to think on God’s goodness and the kindness of others, the more you will thank. And the more you thank, the more complete and Christ-like you will become.

Let your heart be thoughtful, others-aware, and quick to return with thanks to God and to those He used. Make gratitude your consistent habit.

THOUGHT TO PONDER

Whose kindness have I treated as ordinary—and how will I return today to say a thoughtful “thank you”? What habits will keep my heart reflective, so gratitude remains my lifestyle?

PRAYER

Lord, deliver me from ingratitude. Keep me thoughtful, others-aware, and quick to return with thanks to You and to those You used. Make gratitude my habit, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR

Jeremiah 1:1-2:30, Philippians 4:1-23, Psalm 75:1-10, Proverbs 24:17-20.