FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2025

The Divine Covenant and the Imperative of the Equal Yoke

Author: Pastor E. A. Adeboye

Introduction: The Gravity of the Covenant

The decision of whom to marry is, without exception, the most consequential choice a believer will ever make after accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. It is a decision that affects not just your immediate happiness, but your eternal destiny, your ministry, your physical health, and the spiritual legacy of your children. The Scriptures do not treat this subject lightly, and neither should we.

Marriage is not merely a social contract or a romantic arrangement; it is a divine covenant. It is the institution designed by God to display the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Therefore, choosing a partner is choosing a co-laborer in destiny, a co-heir of grace, and a spiritual pacesetter for your family.

Our foundational principle remains the infallible test for discerning truth from error, genuineness from pretense: “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Matthew 7:20). This applies equally to prophets, ministries, and, most personally, to potential spouses. You must know the fruit of the tree before you plant it permanently in the garden of your life.

1. The Primary Rule: The Absolute Prohibition of the Unequal Yoke

The command in today’s Bible reading is perhaps the clearest and most non-negotiable directive concerning marriage in the New Testament.

BIBLE READING: 2 CORINTHIANS 6:14-16 (KJV)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they will be my people.

A. Deconstructing the “Unequal Yoke”

The term “unequally yoked” (heterozugeo) is drawn from agricultural practice. In the Old Testament, God commanded Israel not to plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together (Deuteronomy 22:10). This was not merely about animal husbandry; it was a spiritual lesson. An ox and a donkey are mismatched in strength, stride, and temperament. The yoke would chafe, the furrow would be crooked, and the weaker animal would inevitably be crushed or injured by the unequal burden and pace.

When applied to marriage, the unequal yoke describes the impossibility of unity between a believer (whose life is governed by the Spirit of God and heavenly priorities) and an unbeliever (whose life is governed by the flesh and worldly priorities).

B. The Five Rhetorical Impossibilities

Paul does not merely state the command; he follows it with five rhetorical questions that highlight the absolute incompatibility of the two parties. These questions are designed to show that any attempted union is fundamentally illogical and impossible to sustain peacefully:

Righteousness with Unrighteousness? Righteousness seeks God; unrighteousness rejects Him. How can two people walk side-by-side when one walks toward the light and the other prefers the shadows?
Light with Darkness? Light and darkness cannot coexist. When one enters, the other must flee. The believer is called to be light, walking in holiness. The unbeliever is in spiritual darkness. Their paths cannot merge; they must conflict.
Christ with Belial? Belial is an ancient term used to denote absolute wickedness and worthlessness, often applied to Satan himself. This is the gravest comparison. The ultimate loyalty of the believer is to Christ; the ultimate loyalty (even unwitting) of the unbeliever is to the forces opposed to Christ.
Believer with an Infidel? This addresses the issue of covenant loyalty. The believer has entered a covenant with God through Christ. The infidel (unbeliever) has rejected that covenant. How can two people forge a covenant with each other when they stand on opposing sides of the most important covenant in the universe?
Temple of God with Idols? The believer is the “temple of the living God,” sanctified for His presence. The unbeliever’s heart is often a place of idols—money, lust, ambition, self. A temple devoted to God cannot share its sacred space with idols.

The message is clear: the friction and destruction caused by the unequal yoke are not merely possible; they are inevitable.

C. The Analogy: The Rock and the Miry Clay

As a child of God, you are standing on God, the Solid Rock (Psalm 18:2). Your foundation is sure, fixed, and eternally stable. An unbeliever, on the other hand, is standing on miry clay (Psalm 40:2), a slippery, shifting foundation of worldly values and unredeemed nature.

If you are standing on a rock and holding somebody who is standing on miry clay, the chances are very high that the fellow standing on miry clay will cause you to either stumble or fall completely because he or she is standing on slippery ground. The weight of the unbeliever’s fleshly pull, worldly desires, and opposition to spiritual things will, more often than not, cause the believer to stumble and fall, and they might end up losing their faith in the process.

The Bible warns: “…let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” (1 Corinthians 10:12). Never overestimate your spiritual strength in the face of constant, daily opposition within your own home. The risk is too high.

2. The Fatal Deception of the Savior Complex

One of the most tragic errors young believers make is falling into the “Savior Complex,” believing that their love, niceness, or personal piety is sufficient to change an unbelieving partner after marriage.

The thought process is often: “He is not saved now, but he is kind, and I will be a living testimony to him. I will marry him, and then I will lead him to Christ.”

A. Distinguishing Niceness from New Birth

It is critical to distinguish between natural courtesy and supernatural transformation. Being nice or courteous is not the same thing as being born again. Unbelievers can be polite, generous, hard-working, and even highly moral by worldly standards. However, the core issue is not behavior; it is ownership. Has this person surrendered their life, will, and future to the Lordship of Jesus Christ?

People who refuse to change before marriage—when they are supposedly on their best behavior to win you—hardly ever change after marriage, when they feel they have secured you. If the power of the Holy Spirit working through the preached Word of God, consistent prayer, and a visible demonstration of the Christian life cannot bring about conversion before the rings are exchanged, what makes you think a marriage certificate will suddenly give you more power than the Almighty God?

B. Marrying a Spiritual Assignment

The believer must understand that marriage is a spiritual assignment. When you marry an unbeliever, you are not simply marrying a pleasant person; you are bringing a spiritual adversary (or at least a neutralized member of the opposition) into your most sacred space.

You will be battling alone in prayer.
Your children will receive mixed signals about their ultimate authority (the one who says, “Go to church,” and the one who says, “Let’s go to the beach/party”).
You will face constant compromise over everything from how money is spent (one saves for ministry, the other saves for luxury) to how the Sabbath is honored.

The Christian life is difficult enough without signing up for a lifelong battle fought from your own bedroom.

3. The Hidden Dangers: Beyond Outright Unbelief

While the unbeliever poses the clearest danger, a believer must also be wary of entering a union with a person who is spiritually available but dangerously flawed in character or maturity. The unequal yoke is not only between Christ and Belial, but also between Maturity and Immaturity.

A. The Stubborn and Uncorrected Spirit

A major red flag is a person who stubbornly refuses to listen to corrections and make necessary changes in their actions or behaviors.

The Bible says: “He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32).

If a person despises instruction from God’s Word, from church elders, or from godly mentors, they are displaying a fundamental arrogance and self-will. This self-will, unyielding and unbreakable, is the engine of marital strife. The individual who rejects the gentle correction of the Holy Spirit will certainly reject the correction and counsel of their spouse. You will marry not a partner, but a perpetual child who refuses to grow.

B. The Refusal to Submit to Authority

Do not marry someone who doesn’t have an authority figure that he or she listens and submits to.

Anyone who does not listen to anybody or submit to anyone (be it a spiritual father, a pastor, or a trusted mentor) will definitely not listen to you either. Submission, within the context of Christian partnership, is not about degradation; it is about recognizing structure and accountability. A person who lives outside the chain of spiritual command is a lone ranger, a law unto themselves, and that spirit of unaccountability will ruin the stability of the marriage.

If they refuse to be disciplined by the Church or the Word before marriage, they will reject your leadership and partnership after marriage.

C. The Danger of the Carnal Christian

It is not advisable for a believer seeking to grow to marry an immature Christian or a carnal Christian.

Immaturity: A person who is genuinely saved but has not attained a level of spiritual maturity may still be unstable, inconsistent, and highly vulnerable to temptation.

Carnality: A carnal Christian is someone who is technically saved but whose primary affections, focus, and energy are given to the things of the world rather than spiritual things (1 Corinthians 3:1-3). Their attachment to money, vanity, pleasure, and the latest trends will constantly create a spiritual drag on your destiny.

Marriage should be a relationship where partners help each other ascend to greater spiritual heights. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17). How can iron sharpen wood? A carnal spouse will blunt your spiritual edge and can cause you to stumble and fall back into worldliness. It is better for a believer to marry someone who has attained a level of spiritual maturity and is constantly growing so they can sharpen each other.

4. The Fruits of a Righteous Partner

Having established whom to avoid, we must now clearly define whom to actively seek—the individual whose fruits confirm they are an equal yoke and a divine helpmate.

A. Evidences of Genuine Spiritual Fruit (Galatians 5:22-23)

The true evidence of salvation and maturity is not found in public charisma, but in private, consistent character, as outlined in the Fruit of the Spirit:

Love, Joy, Peace (Inward Fruit): Look for genuine, consistent peace that is not dependent on circumstances. Does this person exhibit genuine, self-sacrificing love, not just infatuation?
Patience, Kindness, Goodness (Outward Fruit): How does this person treat waiters, subordinates, or their family when they are angry or tired? Patience is the single greatest predictor of marital success, for it demonstrates control over the flesh.
Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control (Upward/Personal Fruit): Faithfulness in the small things (paying bills, keeping promises) is a prerequisite for faithfulness in marriage. Self-control is the ability to master appetites, which is crucial for handling money, temper, and sexual purity.

B. The Commitment to the Spiritual Journey

A suitable partner is one who demonstrates a tangible commitment to the spiritual life:

Consistency in Devotion: They are committed to a regular, vibrant devotional life—prayer, study, and meditation on the Word—not just when they feel like it.

Worship and Service: They are genuinely engaged in worship and active service within the Body of Christ. They are producers, not just consumers, in the Kingdom.

Spiritual Vision Alignment: They understand and share your hunger for revival, ministry, and divine purpose. You must be able to pray together, plan ministry together, and seek God’s face together. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

C. The Maturity in Practical Life

The spiritual must always intersect with the practical. A godly spouse is also a responsible and mature individual:

Emotional Stability: They manage their emotions and temper, avoiding drama, manipulation, and passive-aggressive behavior.

Financial Prudence: They have a healthy relationship with money, demonstrating discipline, avoiding reckless debt, and honoring God with their tithes and offerings.

Family Honor: They honor their parents (in a godly way) and respect those in authority. How they treat their family today is a preview of how they will treat yours tomorrow.

Conclusion: The Choice Between Heaven and Hell

Beloved, the choice of a marriage partner is literally the choice between experiencing heaven on earth or experiencing hell on earth.

A good spouse will draw you closer to Christ, lift you in prayer, protect your destiny, and ensure your children inherit a home full of peace and the Holy Spirit. A bad spouse will be a perpetual source of conflict, compromise, discouragement, and spiritual distraction, jeopardizing everything you hold dear.

Do not allow temporary infatuation, the pressure of family, or the fear of loneliness to push you into an unequal yoke. Wait patiently, pray diligently, and let the Lord—the ultimate matchmaker—bring you the partner who is not just born again, but spiritually mature and perfectly aligned with your divine destiny. Trust the Word, watch the fruits, and let God lead you to your covenant companion.

KEY POINT

Christians who are not yet married should be intensely careful of whom they marry, looking first for the fruit of the Spirit and a proven submission to God’s authority.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I commit my marital future into Your hands. Deliver me from the deception of the unequal yoke and the temptation of impatience. Grant me the wisdom to discern genuine fruit and the patience to wait for Your perfect choice. Let my marriage be a true reflection of Christ and the Church, bringing glory to Your name. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR

MARK 10-11

HYMN 28: GUIDE ME, O THOU GREAT JEHOVAH

1 Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,

Pilgrim through this barren land.

I am weak, but Thou art mighty;

Hold me with Thy powerful hand.

Bread of heaven, Bread of heaven!

Feed me now and evermore;

Bread of heaven, Bread of heaven!

Feed me now and evermore.

2 Open now the crystal fountain,

Whence the healing stream doth flow;

Let the fiery, cloudy pillar

Lead me all my journey through.

Strong Deliverer! Strong Deliverer!

Be Thou still my Strength and Shield.

Strong Deliverer! Strong Deliverer!

Be Thou still my Strength and Shield.

3 If I tread the verge of Jordan,

Bid my anxious fears subside;

Bear me through the swelling torrent,

Land me safe on Canaan’s side:

Songs of praises! Songs of praises!

I will ever give to Thee.